This Simple Way I Approach Life Eliminates Fear of Failure
Yesterday, in the blog Mindset - This Simple Way I Approach Life Has Never Failed Me, I shared the following process.
- Do something
- Something happens
- Adjust what I do based on what happened
- Go back to step 1 and Do again
Just "making progress" is enough instead of striving for perfection. By following the simple process it becomes almost impossible to NOT improve.
This is the other part I mentioned in that blog.
It is recognizing there is no failure in the way people think of it.
What is called "failure" is simply a natural part of the process we follow to reach what is called "success".
Do something. Something WILL happen... even if that something seems to be nothing.
IMPORTANT: I am NOT talking about doing attention-seeking or thrill-seeking actions. I am not talking about doing harmful or other stupid things. See the examples below in this blog... THOSE are the kind of things I am talking about!
That is the truth of it: do something and something happens as a result.
That's feedback. It's just information.
Any meaning beyond that is of my own doing.
I am the one assigning the meaning. And this means it is within MY control to NOT assign an emotional negative meaning.
Why is this Empowering?
Because fear limits people more than a lack of skill. Fear of what other people think is one of the most common.
An example of fear is perfectionism: "It's NOT good enough! It's not yet PERFECT! I need to fix it. Or maybe just do it over again!" it's never "good enough".
Or "I need to learn more FIRST. I must read a few more books. A couple more Udemy classes. A few more workshops and I will be ready!" and "ready" never happens.
So, what is the solution?
Detaching myself, the ego, from the process and the result.
Just as an example: if I want to apply for a job even somewhat beyond my current experience & skills I have no reason to be nervous or afraid.
Instead, I can reframe it in my mind to "I wonder what will happen if I apply for this job? What if I get an interview? Hmm... I will find out."
So I accept all possible outcomes and apply for the job.
If it goes to an interview and does not result in my getting the job I can choose to simply view that for what it is... a result of the action I took. It is feedback.
No meaning beyond this is necessary. There is no need to internalize this result as a negative mark on my self-image.
There is no fear. It's fun because everything is an adventure or at least an experiment! :D
This applies to anything reasonable in life.
It's the same for any decision being made in hope of improving something. It's the same for any potentially positive action that will be taken.
It works as well for applying for a job and going to an interview as it does for starting a business as it does for moving to a different state or country to "start over" as it does for writing a public blog as it does for... you get the idea. =)
Of course, I need to use common sense! This does NOT mean I should be wreckless and do dangerous things "just to see what happens". :p
I am just sharing a simple way I use to get the ego out of the way so I can live more fully.